


In Token and Pledge

by Willowbrooke



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Boys In Love, Internal Monologue, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:37:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowbrooke/pseuds/Willowbrooke
Summary: While flying from London to Busan, Timmy reflects on his soul deep, and very complicated, relationship with Armie.





	In Token and Pledge

**Author's Note:**

> So, this little idea about why Timmy was wearing that Elio bracelet in Busan would not let go of me. Yes, I realize that the most likely reason is that a fan gave it to him, but we deal in fiction here,so this is my version of the truth.
> 
> Writing dialogue and banter is my comfort zone, so I'm stepping out of that here as a bit of a personal writing challenge. There is not one line of dialogue in this short little one-off. A first person POV internal monologue is what you're getting, and I _really_ hope it doesn't totally suck! 
> 
> Heartfelt thanks to KendyGirl for her support and for her beta on this. We all know what a talented writer she is, but most of you don't personally know that she is also a pretty awesome human being. I realized today as I was getting ready to post this that it was just about a year ago that she and I first connected because of these two beautiful and amazing boys. So, happy anniversary, my friend, and thank you for sharing this crazy ride with me! 

I startle awake, and it takes me a minute to recall where I am. The hum of the jet engines, the dimly lit cabin. Right. David is in the pod to my left, Dede, in the one ahead. I feel my stomach drop as the plane hits an air pocket, and the seatbelt sign flashes on. It must have been turbulence that woke me. Though I’m still a nervous flyer, after hundreds of flights over the last few years, I no longer have full-on panic attacks when things get a little bumpy. 

Rolling over, I punch the pillow a couple of times, attempting to get comfortable again. Sleep has been in short supply this past week, and it won’t be getting better anytime soon. Busan is going to be crazy, and I need this rest, but now that I’m awake, my mind fills with images of Armie and everything that we’d shared in London. 

To reassure myself of the reality of those events, I move my right hand to the woven band encircling my left wrist, slowly running my fingers over the textured surface before wrapping my hand around it, pressing it into my skin, grateful for this physical reminder. I smile as I remember that there are, actually, one or two _other_ physical reminders. 

But this bracelet…_fuck_...this bracelet is everything. I had given it to Armie at the end of filming because I’d wanted him to have something tangible to hold onto from those idyllic days that had changed us both so profoundly. A remembrance of the soul deep connection we had forged there. 

That first year after Italy had been incredibly difficult for both of us. I think we had naively assumed that we could simply resume our normal lives, picking up we’re we’d left off, keeping Crema and our time together there as fond memories. Jesus, how _fucking_ wrong we had been. 

And the endless promo tour had been both a blessing and a curse. We were together again, but it was almost physically painful having to maintain a distance that neither of us wanted. We were constantly in each other’s back pocket, and it became harder and harder to deny what was clearly in both our hearts. Thinking back to Rome now, I’m honestly not sure how we’d managed to step back from the precipice just in time, but Rome had definitely been the final nail in the coffin for Armie’s marriage, and the beginning of hope for me. Neither of us had wanted to complicate things any more than they already were as Armie worked his way through what was sure to be a long and difficult process, so we’d agreed to hold back and keep things platonic until Armie was free. 

My career was taking off, and Armie was finally being offered parts that required more from him than looking hot as fuck on screen. So our professional lives had taken center stage over the next year and a half, and we were mostly content with that. Facetiming and texting when we were in different parts of the world was like a life breath, and it kept us going. 

We’d shared our first kiss since Rome just three months ago when we’d wrangled a couple of days together in Vienna. Close enough to Budapest that it was easy for me to get there for a weekend, but it was not a place we were likely to be spotted. The divorce wasn’t final, but all major issues had been agreed to, and the end was in sight, so we’d allowed ourselves at least some kissing and cuddling. It’s funny, but when something you’ve wanted so desperately for so long is finally close, the urgency to have it lessens, and this last little bit of waiting wasn’t nearly as hard as I’d imagined. Besides, it was probably a blessing that the _Dune_ shoot was intense, because it took all my focus to get through it. 

And before I knew it, that production was wrapped and I was in London. Armie was filming a couple of hours away, but thanks to him travelling when he should have been sleeping, we were even in the same city for a couple of days. 

I don’t think anyone who believes in true love and destiny could fault us for _finally_ giving in. I’d escaped the pap’d dinner with Joel and Lily to be with him that first night. It was over. The divorce papers were signed, though it wouldn’t be made public until Armie was back in LA so that they could present a united front, and they could both be there for the kids. But he was free now in every way that mattered. She was even already seeing someone else.

We’d ordered a fancy dinner with champagne from room service, and afterwards, he’d made a production of settling me on the couch and kneeling in front of me. I wish I could remember every single word of what he’d said, because it was fucking perfect. He’d asked me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. He'd dropped the bracelet into my hand, folding my fingers around it, and then wrapping his own hands around mine. 

I’d choked up when I’d opened my eyes and realized what he had given me. He’d been just as emotional, and through tears, he’d told me how much this bracelet had meant to him...that it had gotten him through some really tough times. He thanked me for giving it to him, explaining that it had become a talisman of sorts for him. A reminder of what could be if he could only find the courage to follow his heart. He was returning it to me now because he no longer needed it. He had found the courage to reach for happiness, and he wanted this bracelet to serve as a token of his love and commitment to me, and as a promise and a pledge that from here on, we would be together in everything. 

We gave ourselves, heart and soul, to each other that night. Truths long unspoken were at last breathed into each other’s skin, and words of love shouted into the space between us as we slowly took each other apart. I thought I knew what it was to be happy, but I’d had no fucking clue.

_*****_

I’m startled awake once again. This time, by the cabin lights coming on and the stir of activity around me. We’re fed breakfast before we land, and I make my way to the bathroom to change clothes and wash off the top layer of travel grime. 

I’d already decided what I was going to wear on arrival, and I pull Luca’s pants and the gray LV hammer sweatshirt from my backpack. The Oliver Peoples sunglasses had been a perfect and unexpected last-minute find. I take a mirror selfie of the total effect before removing the glasses and tucking them into an outside pocket of the pack where I can grab them once we land. 

Back in my seat, I glance at the Elio bracelet, deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to tone it down a bit. Rummaging around in the backpack, I find a couple bracelets from fans, and slip them onto the same wrist. Perfect. 

When we’re on the ground, I send Armie the selfie. _’Hey, babe. We’ve arrived. What do you think? Too much or not enough? *face with tongue sticking out emoji* Miss you and love you so fucking much.’_ I smile as I hit ‘send.’ He’s gonna fucking lose it when he sees what I’m wearing to the premier. 

Once we’re through customs, I don the sunglasses, smiling and waving as we step out into the arrivals lounge where we are greeted by dozens of screaming fans. Armie and I have the best fans, and I have no doubt that in a matter of hours, the fact that I’m broadcasting Charmie vibes will be all over the internet. I’ve been looking forward to Busan, and I’m ready to hug some fans, so I move quickly to the barricade, artfully dodging a bodyguard intent on keeping me back to greet at least a few of the people who have made the effort to be here. 

And as I get into the car that will take us to the hotel, I realize that I’m actually glad that it hadn’t worked out for Armie to be with me at the London premier, because we would have had to hide what we truly are. I still have no idea when it will happen, but the next time we walk the red carpet together, I want it to be as a couple, holding hands and beaming at each other. 

I know it won't be long now. We’ve waited so long and we're so close.


End file.
